Dear Family

Dear Family,

In light of recent developments, I feel it would be beneficial to have a review of household rules and practices. 

  1.  We do not have it in our budget to personally support the electric company and all their expenses.  Therefore, we do not need to leave lights on in every room in the house to all hours of the night.  There is a small devise in each room, usually located by the doorway, called a light switch.  A simple flick of this switch will solve this problem. 
  2. To go along with number one, the light in the utility room where the cats food and litter box is does not need to be left on all night for said cats.  They are nocturnal creatures and do not need to have light to see their food or to do their business. 
  3. There is a garbage container in the kitchen.  It is brown and wooden and does not resemble a kitchen counter.  It is in fact just two feet away from said kitchen counter and would take no more effort to use for your refuse disposal needs.
  4. In conjunction with number three, please remember that the couch in the living room is not a garbage container.  Nor is the floor behind said couch.  Nor is the coffee table in front of the couch.  Nor is the love seat.  There is a small container for garbage disposal in the living room.  Please use it.
  5. This wonderful home we live in is equipped with a dishwasher.  It is located in the kitchen and is easy to identify and use.  It does not resemble the coffee table, dining room table, floor in the living room, or even the kitchen counter. 
  6. Toilet paper is supplied and stocked in the bathroom.  There should be no reason that there is very seldom a toilet paper roll on the device installed in convenient location to the toilet. 
  7. Unless someone forgot to tell me (and that would be very mean indeed), we do not have maid service.  Therefore it stands to reason that if your dirty laundry is on your floor or in the hall or in the bathroom, it isn’t by the laundry facilities and being washed for your use. 
  8. An overflowing garbage receptacle in the kitchen or bathroom may need to be emptied and taken out to the garbage can outside.  Again, no maid service that I am aware of. 
  9. We are in the same house.  Using your phone to call/text my phone to ask permission to do something or say you are hungry is not appropriate.  I do like to see your beautiful face and hear your voice coming from your lips. 
  10. Bedtime is not a suggestion.  It is not a kind of guideline that you may or may not follow.  Human beings need a certain amount of sleep to function properly.  If you are young enough that lack of sleep is not yet a problem for you, please bear in mind that your mom needs a certain amount of sleep to function.  Your mom being able to function has a direct effect on you and your desired activities. 

If we can keep these ten points in mind, we will get along just fine!

Thanks!

Your Mom

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